How To Enjoy Motherhood And Its Messy Ride

Thank you to Born Shoes and Dillards for sponsoring this post.  

It’s Mother’s Day week and I can’t help but do a little reflecting on my journey as a mother and how I enjoy motherhood.  My kids are 4 and 2 years old now, and only recently have I really started to feel like I’m at a stage where things are getting easier.  I still remember those first 6 months after Dylan was born as being some of the hardest times of my life — the physical exhaustion resulting from lack of sleep, the feelings of inadequacy as I was struggling to juggle my job and being a new mom, and the constant guilt where I felt like I wasn’t doing enough for my kids.  I realized that while my previous priorities before kids were focused primarily on my career, suddenly once I had Dylan the most important thing to me became my family.

While it didn’t all happen at once, I know after about 6 months everything just kind of caught up with me.  The sleep deprivation, feelings of being overwhelmed, and anxiety all came to a breaking point and I knew something had to change.  I was putting a lot of personal pressure on myself to “do it all right,” and it just wasn’t healthy.  Since then I’ve learned a to let go of some of my expectations and just embrace the inherent messiness of life with kids.  I’m sharing a few of the lessons I’ve learned, how my perspective on it has changed along the way and how you can too enjoy Motherhood and its messy ride!

• Make adventures out of the everyday.  It can be easy to get lost in the routine.  Since Adrian and I both work full-time jobs, our weekends are really our only opportunity to catch up, take care of the house, and get the kids to their extracurriculars.  We do a fair amount of “divide and conquer” between the two of us but we also make sure that we all spend time together as a family too doing something fun.  Kids are pretty easy when they’re young so for us even a trip to the farmer’s market or nursery can be an adventure (and we can get some errands done too!).I’ve been wearing these Born ‘Carmo’ block heel sandals a lot lately and they have been ideal for those days when I know I’ll be out on my feet for hours.My shoe preferences have changed so much over the years.  Before becoming a mom, I was always a heels girl and wore them on the daily — I was so proficient in heels that I could easily run down the block in them!  Then I had kids and I found myself slowly switching into flats, especially when it came to the weekends.  It was a choice of function and practicality over vanity.  Since discovering these sandals from Born though, I’ve realized that I can still wear heels, be comfortable, and keep up with my kids!  These shoes have an incredibly cushy footbed and it’s like walking on a cloud!  I love these shoes have 2.75″ of heel height yet with the 1/2″ platform, they are still very easy to walk in.  The soft leather doesn’t rub against my skin and the rubber soles grip the ground so much better than my traditionally leather-bottomed shoes — I can move pretty quickly in these shoes (like running after my kiddos!) and never have to worry about slipping!

• Experience it from your little ones’ eyes.  In the same vein as above, it’s so refreshing to see just how much wonder and excitement my kids get from even the little things.  There are times when we’ll just be walking and Mei will notice a rock that has an interesting color or pattern.  Dylan also loves playing “the lines are lava” game — a variation of the game where essentially you can’t step on the sidewalk lines.  He keeps everyone on their toes and I love that he’s always looking to have some fun!  There is so much to explore and as a parent, it’s so refreshing to experience it anew from their perspective.  Their energy is contagious and even on those days when I am tired, I find that their enthusiasm and excitement get me going more than any cup of coffee ever would!

 

• Do one thing everyday for yourself.  I read this quote on a blog I think early on and it stuck with me.  It’s easy to lose your identity when you take on the role of a mom as you don’t have the same time to devote to your previous passions and hobbies as before.  But, I’ve found that it’s so important to keep doing at least one thing that you love and to do it for yourself.  For me, it’s always been working out.  I love the feeling of being strong and the time that I have to focus on improving myself is something that I need in my life.  I’ve also added blogging to that list.  For the first 10 months of being a mom, I had taken a step away from blogging and found that I really needed it as an outlet.  Being able to connect with others and not feel so alone in what were some trying early days of motherhood made a huge difference for me, and it’s been something that I make time for in my life.  Whatever your passion is, I can’t stress enough how important it is to still have at least one of those interests still be an active part in your life!

 

Born ‘Allan’ Slip-On Shoes

• Make time and appreciate your significant other.  Everyday I am reminded of how amazing Adrian is as a husband and father.  He always makes time for the kids and me, adjusting his schedule and priorities too to make sure that we’re all taken care of.  We’ve been slacking on our date nights recently as my parents are no longer in town to look after the kids, but we try to find ways to steal moments to ourselves throughout the day — even if it’s just a brief look or kiss as we’re busy with the kids.  I always want to make sure that he knows he’s appreciated so when I discovered how comfortable my Born sandals were, I knew that he needed a pair!  I picked up these Allan slip on shoes as I knew he would want something convenient and easy to wear.  His first remark was also in regards to the super soft cushioning and that they were probably supportive shoes he’s ever worn — score!

 

Born ‘Carmo’ block heel sandals

• Live in the moment.  It’ll change before you know it.  And lastly, it’s good to have perspective.  I know that when I was in the middle of those first trying months of being a mother, I didn’t think that things would ever change.  I just kept focusing on the struggles and didn’t take time to appreciate the moment that I was in.  Now looking back, I can see that although those few months were definitely challenging, they were also so brief in the grand scheme of things.  It helps to know that even when my toddlers are having a meltdown and my house is a mess, it won’t last forever.  My kids will get older and they are becoming more independent by the day.I remind myself that it’s just a season of life that I’m in — it’s messy but it’s also beautiful and incredibly rewarding.  To be able to have little ones that look up to me and to be able to hold and kiss their cheeks and wipe their dirty faces when they come in from playing — I wouldn’t change a thing to enjoy Motherhood and its messy ride!

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Born Shoes at Dillard’s.  Thank you for supporting the brands that support this blog!